UNDERSTAND FORCED MARRIAGE
An eight-part adult course covering choice, pressure, asking for help, safe support, law and evidence.
Start learning →Freedom Education
Adults & Groups
Discuss But It’s Not Fair and explore forced marriage more deeply.
For book clubs, universities, community groups and anyone who wants to understand forced marriage, choice, pressure and prevention.
You do not need to have read the book. Every discussion gives you the information you need.
Nobody should be expected to share a personal experience.
Choose a discussionChoose how to take part
BOOK CLUBS
Discuss the characters, choices and difficult questions raised by But It’s Not Fair.
Start a book-club discussion →UNIVERSITIES & COLLEGES
Explore forced marriage through law, human rights, safeguarding, sociology, gender and public policy.
Explore university discussions →COMMUNITY & ADULT GROUPS
Use clear scenarios and questions to start thoughtful, safe conversations.
Run a group discussion →Understand forced marriage
Eight-part adult course
- A1
20–30 min
What forced marriage is — and is not
Free and full consent, arranged and forced marriage, the England and Wales under-18 position and common myths.
- A2
25–35 min
When ‘yes’ may not mean free consent
Consequences of refusal, emotional, financial and reputational pressure, dependence and changing consent.
- A3
20–30 min
Why asking for help can be difficult
Fear, loyalty, surveillance, immigration, finance, housing, disability and not being believed.
- A4
25–35 min
Helping without increasing risk
Listen, do not interrogate, do not contact or mediate with family, explain confidentiality and seek safe help.
- A5
25–35 min
Law, protection and jurisdiction
England and Wales law, FMPOs, official sources and the rule that rights are global while law is local.
- A6
25–40 min
Read the evidence
Fact, inference, assumption, stereotypes, official statistics, source quality and limits.
- A7
60 or 90 min
Read But It’s Not Fair together
A facilitated story, evidence, ethics, law, reflection and help session.
- A8
30–45 min
What would you do?
A new fictional case, first decision, new information, reconsideration and safer action.
Adult decision lab
What would you do?
A fictional adult says they are frightened about refusing a marriage and asks you not to tell their family. Choose a first response.
Book clubs
Discuss But It’s Not Fair
Story context if you have not read the book
The story follows young people trying to understand choice, family pressure, friendship and safe help. Sarina describes restrictions, isolation and pressure around marriage. Abby is frightened about the consequences of a family trip and asks for secrecy. Tara goes to India and does not return; Vinny and Sofia consider different explanations, but their ideas are not proof.
This is enough context to begin. Keep fact, interpretation and what remains unknown separate.
Discussion questions
- Which character most changed the way you thought about forced marriage, and why?
- What separates an arranged marriage from a forced marriage?
- At what point can family influence become coercion?
- Can somebody be coerced without being physically threatened?
- What might somebody lose before a forced marriage ever takes place?
- Why might somebody experiencing abuse still love, protect or defend their family?
- When, if ever, is it right to interfere with somebody’s privacy because you fear they are unsafe?
- What responsibilities should friends have, and where should their responsibility stop?
- Which assumptions about forced marriage does the story challenge?
- What might have prevented the situation from reaching crisis?
Has this discussion changed what you might notice or do if you were worried about someone?
There is no single reason for forced marriage
Different pressures and motives can appear in different cases. None excuses the abuse, and no single factor proves that forced marriage is happening.
Family, reputation and belonging
Some pressure is tied to family expectations, reputation, long-standing commitments or fear of exclusion.
Money, property and dependence
Money, housing, land, property or financial dependence can become part of the pressure or control.
Migration and immigration
Migration does not cause forced marriage. But immigration arrangements, overseas family connections, sponsorship, documents or insecure status can sometimes become part of the pressure or control surrounding a marriage.
Gender, sexuality and gender identity
Forced marriage disproportionately affects women and girls, but men and boys can also be victims. LGBT+ people can face particular pressures where relatives try to control sexuality, relationships or gender identity.
Culture, religion and stereotypes
Forced marriage must never be excused as culture or religion. Nor should an entire culture, religion or ethnic group be blamed for abuse committed by individuals or families.
Control
Control may concern who someone marries, whether they marry, education, money, movement, friendships, relationships, sexuality, reputation, documents, communication and the right to say no.
If saying no carries an unbearable price, how free is the choice?
Universities & colleges
Seminar themes
- Choice, consent and power
- Why forced marriage persists
- Law, rights and public policy
- Evidence, media and system change
“The criminal law can punish forced marriage, but it cannot by itself prevent it.” Discuss.
Use discussion and seminar questions, not personal disclosure or assumptions about anybody’s family or community.
Community & adult groups
60-minute session
Ground rule: Keep the discussion general. Nobody should be expected to share a personal experience.
- 5 min Safe ground rules
- 10 min What forced marriage is and is not
- 15 min Self-contained fictional scenario
- 15 min Choice, pressure and barriers to help
- 10 min What could prevent this?
- 5 min One change
FICTIONAL PRACTICE CASE
An adult says they have agreed to a marriage, but refusing would mean losing housing and family contact. Their phone is monitored, and they are unsure whether they can ask for help safely.
What do we know? What remains unknown? What could make help safer without confronting or contacting the family?
Can forced marriage be ended?
Forced marriage has existed across generations and in different parts of the world. Law matters, but changing the law does not automatically change every family expectation, social norm or form of control.
- Why can harmful practices survive after the law says they are wrong?
- Can law end forced marriage on its own?
- Who has to change: individuals, families, communities, institutions or all of them?
- What gives somebody the practical power to say no?
- What role do education and economic independence play?
- How can professionals intervene earlier?
- How can communities challenge abuse without being stereotyped?
- What should government, schools, universities, health services, police and charities do differently?
- How would we know prevention was working?
What would you change?
Choose one change that you think could prevent forced marriage before it reaches crisis.
Who needs to act?
What could make that change difficult?
How would you know it was working?